hard goodbyes.

This past week was the 50th anniversary of Family Life Ministries. I have NO idea who actually reads these things, but for those who don't know, it's a ministry that my grandfather started and has blossomed into an amazing ministry/radio station. I went home and surprised all my family, some of which I haven't seen in about 3 years. It was incredible. There were shocked expressions, laughter, tears, and so much fun. It's amazing being a part of such an amazing legacy. The history of my family is amazing and I am so blessed to be a part of it all. I thank God every day that I am who I am and that I'm in the family I am in. Hearing the stories and the thank you's and the amazing impact my Grandfather has had on countless people blows me away. I can't get over what he was done for God and the blessings he has reaped because of it. He wrote a book and yet is the most humble man I think I will ever know. I hug him and I smell his aftershave for the rest of the day and it is special. He always hugs and tells me to "be good", to which I respond, "of course Grandpa! When am I never good?" We both laugh and it's a special moment just for us.

I love my family. The tons of cousins...The aunts and uncles that are all so close to each other. We had a brunch on Saturday morning and it's so amazing! Think of the dinner in the movie "while you were sleeping". 10 different conversations going on at once, but someone everything makes perfect sense. And my cousins. It's like having a huge family while your growing up. Some of my relationships with my cousins are more like siblingish (yes, I'm making up a word) then they are just cousins. It was just me and Chad growing up, but with all of the cousins, we still had the big family feel. I love my family so much. It's hard being in Ohio while all of them are in NY.

Jeffrey. Where do I begin. I got to spend so much time with him this weekend, more than I anticipated. Friday, breakfast at Heavenly Cup, walking in the most beautiful spot, museum trips, shopping, surprising my aunt and cousins and more Heavenly Cup coffee, music at his house, Denver concert, and playing piano til like 1. Amazing. Saturday, he came over and we watched UTube videos, got coffee and blasted music and sang our hearts out, Go Fish concert, hours at Senora's, visiting my kids (that I nanny), another concert, and more playing piano for hours. It was so good for me getting to spend that much time with him. It was so much fun and I wouldn't have changed anything about that weekend. Saying goodbye was so hard. If I had the ability to cry, I would have been bawling my eyes out....It's so frustrating. I love being able to remain composed because I hate being that emotional in front of others...But it's frustrating because you want to let it out sometimes and you just can't! One of my friends said that on my wedding day, 22 years of emotional buildup are just gonna come crashing out...and she would sit there and laugh....I don't know what I'll be like, but it's hard. Saying goodbye is so stinkin' hard. I get to see him in one month and that will be amazing! :)

I feel like it's the day after Christmas....There is so much anticipation built up for sooooo long! it's something you look forward to and you know it's going to be amazing. I knew about this weekend for a month and was beside myself with excitement. But now that it's over, it's like draining. I know I have something to look forward to in a month, but it's still hard. All my family is in NY. I'm in Ohio. Jeffrey is in Florida. I'm in Ohio. Casey is in Kentucky. I'm in Ohio...(I'm beginning to have feelings of hatred towards Ohio for some reason) ;)

This is just the ramblings of a girl at 8 at night, sitting in her room with the twinkle lights on and wanting nothing more than to just curl up with a sappy movie...



I think I'll do just that...


Until next time........